‘I wanted a happy ever after life’: love, romance and disappointment in heterosexual single mothers’ intimacy scripts

Charlotte Ann Morris

doi:10.1007/978-3-030-29256-0_12

‘I wanted a happy ever after life’: love, romance and disappointment in heterosexual single mothers’ intimacy scripts

Charlotte Ann Morris

Centre for European & International Studies Research

Research output: Chapter in Book/Report/Conference proceeding › Chapter (peer-reviewed) › peer-review

Abstract

This chapter discusses conceptions of romantic love in relation to disappointment, which Illouz (Cold Intimacies: The Making of Emotional Capitalism. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2007; Why Love Hurts. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2012) identifies as a key feature of contemporary love and dating practices. Narrative research identified layers of complexity within single mothers’ choice-making around intimacy. Participants experienced disappointment that ideal romantic relationships envisaged as part of ‘intimacy scripts’—or blueprints for intimate lives—had not come to fruition. Culturally endorsed intimacy scripts were overlaid with commercialised narratives of romance (Illouz, Why Love Hurts. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2012). Bound up with material aspirations, these functioned as a form of ‘cruel optimism’ (Berlant, Cruel Optimism. Durham, NC: Duke University Press, 2011), promising fulfilment but failing to deliver either normative family life, gender equality, meaningful relationships or ideal romantic ‘happy endings’. Everyday lived realities rather entailed prioritising material survival, safety and provision of care for dependents.

Original language	English
Title of host publication	Romantic Relationships in a Time of ‘Cold Intimacies'
Editors	Julia Carter, Lorena Arocha
Place of Publication	New York
Publisher	Palgrave Macmillan
Chapter	12
Pages	261-283
Number of pages	23
ISBN (Electronic)	978-3-030-29256-0
ISBN (Print)	978-3-030-29255-3
DOIs	https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-29256-0_12
Publication status	Published - 1 Jan 2020

Publication series

Name	Studies in Family and Intimate Life
Publisher	Palgrave Macmillan

UN SDGs

This output contributes to the following UN Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs)

SDG 5 Gender Equality
SDG 10 Reduced Inequalities

Keywords

intimacy
heterosexuality

Access to Document

10.1007/978-3-030-29256-0_12

https://www.palgrave.com/gb/book/9783030292553

Cite this

@inbook{7ea3f96c9c0944b5ba00299548a510d4,

title = "{\textquoteleft}I wanted a happy ever after life{\textquoteright}: love, romance and disappointment in heterosexual single mothers{\textquoteright} intimacy scripts",

abstract = "This chapter discusses conceptions of romantic love in relation to disappointment, which Illouz (Cold Intimacies: The Making of Emotional Capitalism. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2007; Why Love Hurts. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2012) identifies as a key feature of contemporary love and dating practices. Narrative research identified layers of complexity within single mothers{\textquoteright} choice-making around intimacy. Participants experienced disappointment that ideal romantic relationships envisaged as part of {\textquoteleft}intimacy scripts{\textquoteright}—or blueprints for intimate lives—had not come to fruition. Culturally endorsed intimacy scripts were overlaid with commercialised narratives of romance (Illouz, Why Love Hurts. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2012). Bound up with material aspirations, these functioned as a form of {\textquoteleft}cruel optimism{\textquoteright} (Berlant, Cruel Optimism. Durham, NC: Duke University Press, 2011), promising fulfilment but failing to deliver either normative family life, gender equality, meaningful relationships or ideal romantic {\textquoteleft}happy endings{\textquoteright}. Everyday lived realities rather entailed prioritising material survival, safety and provision of care for dependents.",

keywords = "intimacy, heterosexuality",

author = "Morris, \{Charlotte Ann\}",

year = "2020",

month = jan,

day = "1",

doi = "10.1007/978-3-030-29256-0\_12",

language = "English",

isbn = "978-3-030-29255-3",

series = " Studies in Family and Intimate Life",

publisher = "Palgrave Macmillan",

pages = "261--283",

editor = "Julia Carter and Lorena Arocha",

booktitle = "Romantic Relationships in a Time of {\textquoteleft}Cold Intimacies'",

}

‘I wanted a happy ever after life’: love, romance and disappointment in heterosexual single mothers’ intimacy scripts. / Morris, Charlotte Ann.
Romantic Relationships in a Time of ‘Cold Intimacies'. ed. / Julia Carter; Lorena Arocha. New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2020. p. 261-283 ( Studies in Family and Intimate Life).

Research output: Chapter in Book/Report/Conference proceeding › Chapter (peer-reviewed) › peer-review

TY - CHAP

T1 - ‘I wanted a happy ever after life’: love, romance and disappointment in heterosexual single mothers’ intimacy scripts

AU - Morris, Charlotte Ann

PY - 2020/1/1

Y1 - 2020/1/1

N2 - This chapter discusses conceptions of romantic love in relation to disappointment, which Illouz (Cold Intimacies: The Making of Emotional Capitalism. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2007; Why Love Hurts. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2012) identifies as a key feature of contemporary love and dating practices. Narrative research identified layers of complexity within single mothers’ choice-making around intimacy. Participants experienced disappointment that ideal romantic relationships envisaged as part of ‘intimacy scripts’—or blueprints for intimate lives—had not come to fruition. Culturally endorsed intimacy scripts were overlaid with commercialised narratives of romance (Illouz, Why Love Hurts. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2012). Bound up with material aspirations, these functioned as a form of ‘cruel optimism’ (Berlant, Cruel Optimism. Durham, NC: Duke University Press, 2011), promising fulfilment but failing to deliver either normative family life, gender equality, meaningful relationships or ideal romantic ‘happy endings’. Everyday lived realities rather entailed prioritising material survival, safety and provision of care for dependents.

AB - This chapter discusses conceptions of romantic love in relation to disappointment, which Illouz (Cold Intimacies: The Making of Emotional Capitalism. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2007; Why Love Hurts. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2012) identifies as a key feature of contemporary love and dating practices. Narrative research identified layers of complexity within single mothers’ choice-making around intimacy. Participants experienced disappointment that ideal romantic relationships envisaged as part of ‘intimacy scripts’—or blueprints for intimate lives—had not come to fruition. Culturally endorsed intimacy scripts were overlaid with commercialised narratives of romance (Illouz, Why Love Hurts. Cambridge: Polity Press, 2012). Bound up with material aspirations, these functioned as a form of ‘cruel optimism’ (Berlant, Cruel Optimism. Durham, NC: Duke University Press, 2011), promising fulfilment but failing to deliver either normative family life, gender equality, meaningful relationships or ideal romantic ‘happy endings’. Everyday lived realities rather entailed prioritising material survival, safety and provision of care for dependents.

KW - intimacy

KW - heterosexuality

U2 - 10.1007/978-3-030-29256-0_12

DO - 10.1007/978-3-030-29256-0_12

M3 - Chapter (peer-reviewed)

SN - 978-3-030-29255-3

T3 - Studies in Family and Intimate Life

SP - 261

EP - 283

BT - Romantic Relationships in a Time of ‘Cold Intimacies'

A2 - Carter, Julia

A2 - Arocha, Lorena

PB - Palgrave Macmillan

CY - New York

ER -

‘I wanted a happy ever after life’: love, romance and disappointment in heterosexual single mothers’ intimacy scripts

Abstract

Publication series

UN SDGs

Keywords

Access to Document

Fingerprint

Cite this